Capital Punishment News: Comedian Johnny Gallow regales audiences observing executions
Controversial, one-of-a-kind performer entertains execution viewers, adding a new dimension to the once-depressing death penalty.
By JOSEPH BLOGS
New York Times Humor Critic
IT’S NEAR MIDNIGHT at Holman Correctional Facility near Altmore, Alabama. The small audience has gathered in the observation room, sitting in front of a black curtain. When it opens, they will witness the execution of Kenneth Smith, the first ever using nitrogen gas.
But first, the audience is in for an unexpected treat: standup comedy. Johnny Gallow, who gives artistic life to the concept “gallows humor,” will do a short performance.
He steps in front of the group of about 40 people, including relatives of both the victims and the condemned man. This group will soon see Smith slowly suffocate, using an execution technique never before attempted.
For now, there’s some comic relief. Mr. Gallow tours the country doing standup as a kind of warmup act for the big event, what goes on the death certificate as “state homicide.” His routine and the fact that taxpayers cover the cost is considered controversial, and some people are steadfastly opposed to the practice.
Outside the prison, protestors stand at the entrance with signs that say, “Humor at executions is not funny,” and, “This is not a joke.”
But Mr. Gallow is undeterred. He saw a need for a little levity when the government puts people to death, and turned it into a gig.
Establishing Rapport with His Audience
At the execution of Kenneth Smith, he stands in front of his audience, his face shrouded in shadow. “I’m always nervous when I perform,” Mr. Gallow begins, taking a moment to establish rapport. “But then I think, well, it could be a lot worse.”
The audience laughs, though is still hesitating. He continues. “Kenny’s on the other side of the curtain. I know what he’s thinking.” There’s a dramatic pause.
“He’s thinking, would you guys let me out of here, so I can jump off of something?”
This one gets a more vibrant chuckle.
Mr. Gallow admits in an interview that comedy at an execution requires a kind of seduction process. But since nobody wants to be there, and they can’t leave till it’s over, everyone goes along with it. “And these days, it’s a lot easier than seducing a woman,” he adds.
“You guys are such a great captive audience,” he says to the crowd just before Mr. Smith is gassed. “So imagine of they make a mistake and give Kenny nitrous instead of nitrogen. Simple barcode error.”
Now the audience picks up on his theme. A few people laugh.
“You know the guards don’t try the gas out before they try it on him. They’ll have no idea. Kenny’ll be laying there thinking, ‘Wow, death is great. Everything is so interesting. And sounds really weird. This is way cool’, as he lays there laughing in hysterics.”
Turning a Troubled Youth to Healing
Mr. Gallow, born John O’Donnell in Dearborn, MI, has always had the gift of humor.
He got his big break at the scene of a three-car accident with entrapment in his hometown at age 12. It was a nasty incident, and bystanders were shocked. Smoke started rising from one of the cars as everyone stood there helplessly. After five minutes, a crowd had gathered.
“I grabbed the stage,” he recollected. “I knew people would be so surprised they would listen attentively. I think the first thing I said was something about hoping the airbags had deployed properly, because this looks pretty bad.”
When the first ambulance arrived, he quipped, “How do we know those guys are really qualified? He hey buddy, can I see your certification?” Suddenly, the crowd was in stitches as motorists were cut from the wreckage by firemen using the Jaws of Life.
When one of the cars burst into flames, he said, “Hey! Call the Fire Department!” Based on this street performance, he became the youngest person nominated for a Daytime Emmy™.
Opened for The Wailers
From there it was not long before he was appearing at Roman Catholic funerals, opening up for the “wailing women” — the professional mourners who cry loudly and sing songs at the funerals of strangers. For three years, Gallow toured with the Wailers all over Michigan and even parts of Minnesota
“You would be surprised how much material there is in 14 centuries of child trafficking,” he told a local newspaper in 2004. “And they love it.”
His performances were attended by priests, monsignors, and even a few bishops and a cardinal showed up over the years.
Then, Mr. Gallow’s close friend butchered a family of seven with a Boy Scout hatchet, and said to him, “If I get the death penalty, please perform at my execution.”
Though his friend is still on Death Row waiting for his appeals to be processed, “Gallow’s Humor” has taken off. There’s about to be a Netflix series, and Mr. Gallow will be doing a residency in Las Vegas featuring real executions at The Sands. Of the various methods of killing a person, Gallow says that hangings are the easiest to perform at, but electrocutions are the most challenging.
“That’s a real tough crowd,” he said. “These days, I go for the ‘green’ angle, and say they should be frying the prisoner using renewable energy. They love it.”
Not Everyone Approves
“This is highly inappropriate,” said a relative of one of Mr. Smith’s victims, who asked not to be identified. “It’s a tragic situation. Why are we supposed to be laughing? Well, laughing gas — I admit, I thought that part was funny. Sorry.”
Last month, the Pennsylvania General Assembly passed a nonbinding resolution objecting to Gallow performing at its executions. In response, Death Row inmates, led by convicted cop killer Mumia Abu-Jamal, circulated a petition unanimously demanding comedy in their final moments — and that it be piped into the execution room.
Some families of the condemned have also objected. “Sure, Ralph could see the humor in just about anything, but this is plain wrong,” said the widow-to-be of Ralph Moran, moments before he faced his fate for poisoning several innocent children by putting cyanide in their Fruity Pebbles.
In Oklahoma, Gov. Kevin Sitt recently flew to McAlester State Penetentiary to catch Gallow’s act before the execution of Anthony Sanchez. He was joined in the observation room by his security detail. Ice cold Foster’s Premium Ale was passed around the room for the occasion, part of a sponsorship deal.
“You know what we should all be thinking?” Gallow asked his audience, in what seemed like the setup to another fantastic joke.
“What if he’s innocent?”
Earth has too much 'gravity' & not near enough 'levity'... ... ...
I don't know, man, to me this feels like contributing to the desensitizing of the body politic toward what is state homicide. More disembodiment.