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BREAKING — Big 10 Health Freedom Guys Line Up Behind RFK Jr's Candidacy
Many adjust views, reverse position on lab-leak, virus. Bigtree, Mercola, Null all jump on wagon playing kazoo. Public unusually, especially confused. Unsure if whole thing was April Fool's prank.
Follow-up on the ‘News’
SOME OF THE NATION’S MOST PROMINENT health freedom presenters were falling all over themselves to align their views with those of godfather Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., who on Friday afternoon announced his presidential candidacy, according to a parody newsletter.
While this move was expected, observers were stunned that Kennedy had conceded that after “much contemplation and discussion with people I didn’t want to agree with,” SARS-CoV-2 has never been isolated or properly sequenced.
Kennedy said he came to upstate New York, in the state his father once represented as its U.S. senator, to meet last week with dissident health freedom leaders and journalists. They convened in the Broadway Lights Diner in Kingston.
The outliers seem to be concentrated in the otherwise freakishly “woke” upstate area, where currently most of the population is wearing flotation devices and rafting helmets. Last weekend, yuppies visiting the upstate towns of Hudson, Woodstock, Kingston and New Paltz, were walking around wearing parachutes and propeller hats.
‘I Know What This Means’
“As an attorney, I know what it means for an agency to say ‘no records found’, and someone has collected such responses from 213 of them around the world,” Kennedy said Sunday on a special April 1 edition of Tucker Carlson is a Regular Guy, Just Like You on the Foxy Nudes network. “This cannot be a coincidence.”
Carlson wore his traditional April Fool’s Day Bono the Clown makeup and bright red hair for the occasion, which seemed to make his distinguished guest uncomfortable.
“This is true in 40 countries, including the United States and all of its health agencies. It always seemed unbelievable to me, but it’s right there, on paper — a stunning admission against interests by the very entities that shut down the world,” Kennedy said. “I ran from this for years,” he added. “It’s terrible.”
“Without this false claim, we would not have had the incalculable losses associated with the mitigation measures, and with that horrid gene-therapy device that was falsely passed off as a vaccine,” said Kennedy, the leader of the Children’s Health Defensive public relations and political strategy firm.
‘I Didn’t Believe It, Seemed Ridiculous’
“I didn’t believe it at first, because it came out on April Fool’s Day,” said Del Bigtree on a special edition of The Highwire, welcoming Christine Massey as his guest. Bigtree is expected to be named White House chaplain under a Kennedy administration, and will give the invocation at the Jan. 20, 2025 inauguration.
“I thought it was a fantastic prank,” Bigtree added. “Everyone believed it. But then it turned out to be true. How does that happen?” he asked, quizically.
“If I’m honest, I’ll tell you this has been gnawing at me quietly for many months. I was never able to get over the irritating doubt that your findings might have some some real meaning,” Bigtree said, introducing Massey.
“Every government queried said it could not produce an actual sample of the virus. Is that right?”
‘I Didn’t Make This Up’
“Dell, I didn’t make this up. I know it’s barely believable to some people, but here is your proof,” Massey said, holding up what looked like more than a ream of paper containing the printouts of all of the responses from governments, including a dozen from the CDC and NIH in the United States.
She set the pile down on the table with an audible thump.
“I worded my question to the agencies carefully, and some people don’t like that. But that’s how FOI works,” she added, referring to “freedom of information laws” that exist in many countries, most of them put in place in the 1970s.
These laws require the government to produce specific documents, or categories of documents, upon request of private citizens. For many decades, FOI laws have provided an advantage to ordinary people in confrontations with the government.
A number of experts we interviewed said that being specific in your FOI requests is essential. “You go for the gems first,” said anti-incineration activist Ellen Connett. “Sometimes they say no records found, and there’s your diamond.”
Where else can you read highly entertaining bullshit like this? Tell me your email and I will send you lots and lots more.
Gary Null, Joe Mercola, Even Peter Breggin
Talk show host Gary Null, who is usually pretty worried about germs, said, “I’m so confident he’s right, I’m not even wearing a visor, mask or gloves,” he said to the crowd at an RFK Jr. rally in New York City over the weekend.
He took the stage immediately after someone mopped it three times with bleach.
“I feel a little naked, but that’s part of the territory. I can’t wait to pet a dog without a layer of rubber between me and his fur. Dogs have germs. I’m going to drink an extra quart of Gary’s Green Stuff every day just in case,” he added.
Others shared his sentiments.
“I admit, as an osteopathic physician, I should not have been so obsessed with viruses,” said Dr. Joseph Mercola, whose website gets approximately five hundred million visits an hour.
“The core theory of osteopathic practice is the health and alignment of the spine, which is the central nervous system. Viruses have nothing to do with this. We all know they are an AMA paranoid fantasy designed only to sell vaccines.”
A Political Problem, Not a Medical One
Peter Breggin, the renowned psychiatrist who has helped end the practice of prefrontal lobotomy, has made a career out of the lab leak and gain of function theory. But he said that he came to understand he was experiencing cognitive dissonance.
“If there was really a leaked germ warfare weapon, why were there only excess deaths in 16 states, and none in Canada?” Breggin asked. “That sounds like a political problem rather than a medical one. You would not expect a bioweapon to skip places, or only go after people who are in their 70s or 80s.”
Breggin urged everyone “to please let go of your theories and beliefs and look at this thing objectively. I am speaking as a psychiatrist here. Preconceptions are dangerous.”
At press time, a diversity of other presenters, including various gung-ho virus pushers, said they were retooling their editorial policies to account for the fact that no virus was ever found, and that the claimed pandemic only affected one-third of the United States. They all hoped to get press credentials in a Kennedy II White House.
“This story has legs,” said Jim Naureckas of Fairyness and Accuracy in Reporting, the media watch group. “The only thing slowing it down was that people didn’t want to believe it was true. But really, it’s good news.”